Rising from the Ashes: Creating the 42 Phoenix Goddess Affirmations
Facing the Weight of Loss
This week has been incredibly difficult for me, as it marks the grief anniversary of losing my son, as well as the passing of my mother-in-law, aunt, and niece. August is a tough month, and the weight of these losses has made it hard to focus on my main projects, like the Oya Lore book and the Sentinel Superhero Vigilante serial. The grief has been overwhelming, leaving me struggling with high anxiety, exhaustion, and what I call "grief brain"—that foggy, disconnected feeling that makes it nearly impossible to concentrate. [YOUTUBE LINK]
Channeling Grief into Creativity
In July, my husband and I faced the heartbreaking task of clearing out our storage, going through all of my son's belongings. We decided to create a memorial quilt, which has been both cathartic and incredibly painful. This weekend, we received a card from the Navy offering condolences, which stirred up even more emotions.
Despite these challenges, I found myself drawn to creating something meaningful, something that could help transmute the pain into a source of empowerment. Over the past few weeks, I've been creating affirmation videos—something I hadn’t originally planned but felt compelled to do. This creative outlet has been my way of coping, of finding a path through the grief that still feels so heavy.
Creating the 42 Phoenix Goddess Affirmations
This week, I completed the script, narration, and production for the 42 Phoenix Goddess Affirmations video. This video is deeply personal, inspired by my desire to rise from the ashes of my grief and channel that energy into something positive. I incorporated ASMR elements—soft-spoken voice, crackling fire, and magical tingles—to create a soothing and transformative experience. The video features 20 images of Black women as the Phoenix Goddess, symbolizing transformation and rebirth.
Honoring the Creative Process
I know that releasing three videos in the last three weeks might seem like a lot, and I’m not entirely sure what's driving this burst of creativity. But I’m honoring it, making space to create in a way that feels right for me during this difficult time.
Taking Time to Heal
It’s been a hard month, but I’m doing my best to recover and find peace. Slowing down, meditating, taking herbal supplements for adrenal fatigue and mental health, and practicing self-care routines like lavender baths and essential oils have all been part of my healing process. I’ve also been careful with my diet, practicing intermittent fasting and keeping my sugar intake low.
Giving Myself Grace
Most importantly, I’ve been giving myself grace. I’ve learned that grief doesn’t follow a linear path, and even after six years, the waves of sadness can crash in unexpectedly. I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to slow down, to feel those waves, and to navigate them in my own time.
A Message of Empowerment
I’m sharing this not to seek sympathy but to let you know that if you’re also navigating grief, loss or struggling with issues, you’re not alone. Creating the 42 Phoenix Goddess Affirmations was my way of finding light in the darkness, of rising from the ashes stronger and more resilient. I hope this video brings you some comfort and strength, just as it did for me.
Thank you for your continued support and understanding. I’m taking things one day at a time, and I’ll get back to my writing projects when the time is right. For now, I invite you to watch the 42 Phoenix Goddess Affirmations video, and let its message of transformation and rebirth resonate with you.
Check out the video here: [YouTube Link]
Until next time, remember—you are a Phoenix Warrior Goddess, capable of rising above any challenge. Keep shining, keep rising, and never forget your immense power.
2 comments
Thank You! I appreciate the kind words. Since the quilt is being handmade, it may take a while to share pictures. Sensitive journey for us. Taking it one day at a time.
Beautiful post. Would love to see the memorial quilt when it’s completed (if you’re open to this). In the meantime, thank you for sharing your journey with us.